over the weekend someone asked me what i thought being in 'love' was.

the answer to this question usually tells you more about the person answering it than anything else. everyone is different, everyone has a different answer. for the longest time i havnt had the faintest idea, and maybe over the last five or six years i might have answered the question in a bunch of different ways, really depending on my state of mind at the time, but i never really pushed myself to answer it.

i've had a think about it now.

in the context of a relationship most people consider love as the antithesis to hate but i dont think thats quite right. hate is a weird beast again, its rare that i ever feel it. and i don't trust the emotions at each end of that scale, not even the positive ones. so not that.

right now for me, love means this: freedom from anxiety.

it could also mean - a calmness - no drama - a contentment. and the happyness and strength that comes from that. but whatever form it takes, it's the opposite of anxiety. in a relationship, if theres a person or something that creates that peace by their presence, then thats awesome. thats it. thats the spot. that is something to hold on to. that can make a lot of other things work. for me thats the most important thing.